"This is Kampala" is a phrase repeated every day here in Kampala by my Ugandan friends. What are they referring to? As easy and clear as I can say it, basically take every notion of common sense and flip it on it's head. Take the above picture. What do you see? It's hard to tell, but that is a four points intersection...with no stops signs...with no traffic cops...with no one stopping! If you are a person who doesn't get a thrill of living on the edge even slightly, it would be hard for you to make it in Kampala. Let's stick to the roads. In my two trips to Uganda, I've seen a biker get tossed off his bike, two people fly off a boda-boda (motorcycle), a dog get run over, multiple accidents, and numerous close calls!
Here is a perfect example of the "thrill." Within only four days of being in Kampala we get in a car accident. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but Steve's car got banged up nicely. We were heading straight on Jinja Road (the main road in Kampala) and were hit by a merging government vehicle. Now, because the traffic cop and the driver of the government vehicle have the same boss, the driver was excused because they did not want the government to take a loss.
Pedestrians do not have the right away when it comes to any circumstance. Crossing the street, riding a bike, old lady or child in the road, nope it doesn't matter - GET OUT OF THE WAY! It's a game of Frogger all day long.
What about dining? In a lot of places you pay your waitress before you order. What if the food is terrible!? What if the service is poor!? Nope, pay or go hungry. Ugandan's are understandably survivalist by nature. Money is an obsession and sadly trust is not often espoused.
Sticking with money, Ugandans have an odd sense of the U.S. Dollar that I am still trying to figure out. When you go to the currency exchange place to exchange dollars for shillings, the exchange rate is less for any bill under $100 ("small bills"). "Large bills," or $100 bills are granted the highest exchange. Is this common in any other country? What am I missing? To me, a dollar is a dollar is a dollar. Also, they only accept bills from the year 2000 and above. If there is a tiny tear, an ink mark, the president's face fading, or the bill is wrinkled in any way, they will not accept the bill. What is the deal with that!?
Lastly, in Uganda you can literally negotiate ANYTHING. Ugandan's are the best salesman in the world. It is really exciting to watch Ugandan's negotiate and argue because they are so amazing at it. Forget business classes, books on selling, and sales training. Every Fortune 500 company should send there sales forces to Uganda for a few weeks to learn from the best. I guarantee their sales would skyrocket.
Look out for Part Two of "This is Kampala." Something wild happens every day here in Kampala.
To note, this post is meant to be fun. I want my friends and family to have a micro or boots-on-the-ground view of my experience too. I wouldn't want to experience another culture any other way. What's more real then being fully immersed in the cultural intricacies of a society? It's up to me to assimilate and deal with it. Whenever a Ugandan says, "This is Kampala," he or she is essentially saying "this is how our world works, so get used to it." Good by me!
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